The Tree Must Bend

The Tree Must Bend

He had just entered high school when Chris, our son, had asked if he could get an ear pierced and wear an ear ring. It was a big fad among all the kids his age. Unfortunately I told him no and explained to him that he didn't have the right to make the decisions about this as long as he wasn't old enough and still living under our roof.

I didn't believe in the idea of putting holes in one's body as a way to be in with the rest of the world. Yes, I considered it a worldly thing, not a necessary integral part of one's culture. To simply make permanent changes to your body for the sake of a fad was not a wise thing to do, in my opinion.

I would hear talk about the ear ring brought up from time to time and each time he got the same answer.

Then one day we all went to Elena's for Filipino food. It was the day before Chris's Junior Prom. I had heard some talk of how cool it would be for him to wear an ear ring to the prom but they hesitated to ask me again.

Finally, just before we were done eating, I looked at him and said, "So boy!.. Where you going get your ear pierced ?". Just then whole restaurant became quiet. Quiet as though some one was about to whisper some insider stock secret. Slowly I saw ear to ear smiles popping out pop corn on the stove. Pop, first it was Chris, then pop, Mom, then finally pop, Sherilyn.

We'll he made it to the Junior Prom with his newly pierced ear and was really happy for that.

Later during the week mom, Sher and Chris cornered me to ask why after all those years, I had changed my mind and let him and let him pierce his ear?

I didn't want to answer quickly as I knew this would be a moment they would remember for all time. After couple minutes this is what I said.

"In order for the old oak tree to stand the tall in the sky, it must learn to bend with the winds of time."

So it was that I had realized that sometimes we may be too careful and want to make all the decisions for our children. I realized that giving him the chance to make his own decisions also gave him the chance to realized the results of his own decisions. Be it good or bad, how he recovers from a bad one is the process and experience he should have now, in preparation for bigger decisions in the future.

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