A Few of My Favorite Jokes

A Filipino man took a test for employment and was asked to make a sentence using the following words: Defense, Detail, Defeat, & Deduct. After a brief moment he replied, "Deduct jumped over Defense, first Defeat than Detail.

Two men were watching a 747 taking off and one of them said, "Isn't it amazing how so much metal can lift off the ground and fly?". "No!!" the other replied, "If you had that much pressure coming out of your butt you'd fly too!!".

One Christmas my neighbor, Bamby, gave me a small package. I opened it and found two AA batteries and a tag that read, "Gift Not Included" .... ha ha ha.. Try this one on a friend this Xmas....

One day while cruising Wall Mart I saw this blind Mexican guy walking towards me as he was being pulled by his "Seeing Eye" dog. Suddenly he pulled the dog off the floor by it's leash as it choked and started swinging it around in a circle. A store clerk ran up to him and cried, " Mister, mister are you all right?" The man replied with his Mexican accent "Es no problem I'm just looking around!"..

Why did the Portuguese business man sit in a tree all day long? He wanted to be a branch manager.....